Summer draws near to a close. For this, I am thankful. Many people find fall time somewhat insane, as routines abandoned during summertime pick up, and temperatures drop, beckoning the looming winter.
But not this girl. I adore autumn, finding it as me personified in seasonal form. Despite my spring purchase of two, neon t-shirts, I am all about the earth tones with splashes of color. And printed scarves. And hot beverages. And crisp, musky air. And bbootttsss. I believe, firmly, that boots make any woman of any body type at any level (or lack) of athleticism in her figure look damn good. Mostly, I love boots, because they forgive especially when those long socks and scarves tie into the mix.
Fashion and food trends aside, I love autumn, because its my rhythm, or the beat I hope to attain in my livelihood. This summer I broke from the regular blogging habit, and a lot of my “normal” habits, to breathe. For me, breathing means taking naps, reading books slowly, preparing meals for one (or extra to enjoy with friends), taking walks in the park, listening to the same song over and over for hours, painting blank canvases, tying my hair up, watching an embarrassing amount of bad television (yes, this included all the episodes of Dawson’s Creek) and secluding away from almost everybody. Essentially, this summer I tried to develop rhythms by doing nothing. And it worked.
So, this fall, more than any recent one (and probably since childhood), I enter into my favorite season feeling new. More than twice this summer, I’ve heard, “You look different and more healthy and happy than I’ve seen you in a long time or ever.” First, this wouldn’t have been said of me for valid reason. Second, I cannot express adequately how happy I am to hear those words. I can’t take the credit all my own; I had some great people around me this summer, helping me sift through the muck and ask some hard questions, but I am glad I did.
As I enter into this new-yet well-loved season-I feel ready for whatever is next. Book cracking, and paper writing. Home brewing [in my friend’s basement. Let’s be real, that’s tough in 500 square feet). Saying “no.” And exuberantly saying “yes.” Leaf crunching. Deeply conversing. Belly-laughing. Pumpkin bread baking. Resume tweaking. New friend. Mile running. Disciple huddling. Hard and easy lesson learning. Mistake making. New Mumford & Sons’ album listening. Apple picking. God-baby growing (that would be a vision not a human, in case you were mildly curious). And increased self-knowing and growing.
*I can’t think of much more to attribute to my newfound sense of peace and joy. It isn’t something explainable, and I have a long way to go, but, for the first time, I allow myself to feel a bit of it. It is really, really nice.