I am what people call Type A. I like things planned, because I like to be prepared. People make fun of me for my orderly nature, but I can be flexible as necessary and enjoy spontaneity in the form of last-minute road trips, friends stopping by with a bottle of wine, cheap tickets to an unanticipated weeknight show, etc. Even though it’s easy to poke fun at me, and I make fun of myself, people appreciate my dependability, and I am not ashamed to admit I like the consistency.
My A-ness reflects my love of autumn, I think. Since childhood I’ve had a love-affair with the fall leaves, apple cider, and crisp, chilly air. Wisdom and growth in myself and others are more obvious to me. It’s the time I look back on where I come from, who I am, and anticipate what might lie ahead. Really, I do this year-round, because I’m the contemplative, romantic type, and autumn falls into my rhythm naturally.
But these gloriously-long days temp me to cheat with summer…
You see, during the month of May, lots of things changed suddenly, and it sort of threw my plan into a tizzy. I started running again. I said goodbye to several people I care about. I quit a job before I started. I decided not to work 60 hour weeks anymore. I cut my caffeine consumption in half. I accepted a part-time, low-paying summer job that compensates with awesome experience. I signed a lease to my own apartment. I changed my social work practice emphasis from community organizing to therapy. I started seeing a therapist to learn how to be a better one for my clients. And I made some new friends. Some changes came more easily than others, but all were good and needed.
For the first time in a long time, I don’t have a plan, and it feels great. Of course, I have a direction and vision, but it is less distracted with “what ifs” and more open to possibilities. This is what my summer is for, I think. Slowing down, resting, and rejuvenating my soul, so I can bring my full self to my work and relationships. But, mostly, I am vulnerable, taking a step back to allow for room to change and pondering intentionally about ideas and directions stirring inside. I am trying to wonder more.
So far, it is working. I am sleeping better and eating more produce. It is nice. Also, I love the plentiful lemonade, which is sort of essential to summer. May this summer be as pleasant for you as it is for me. Cheers.