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Cheating On Autumn

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I am what people call Type A.  I like things planned, because I like to be prepared.  People make fun of me for my orderly nature, but I can be flexible as necessary and enjoy spontaneity in the form of last-minute road trips, friends stopping by with a bottle of wine, cheap tickets to an unanticipated weeknight show, etc.  Even though it’s easy to poke fun at me, and I make fun of myself, people appreciate my dependability, and I am not ashamed to admit I like the consistency.

My A-ness reflects my love of autumn, I think.  Since childhood I’ve had a love-affair with the fall leaves, apple cider, and crisp, chilly air.  Wisdom and growth in myself and others are more obvious to me.  It’s the time I look back on where I come from, who I am, and anticipate what might lie ahead.  Really, I do this year-round, because I’m the contemplative, romantic type, and autumn falls into my rhythm naturally.

But these gloriously-long days temp me to cheat with summer…

You see, during the month of May, lots of things changed suddenly, and it sort of threw my plan into a tizzy.  I started running again.  I said goodbye to several people I care about.  I quit a job before I started.  I decided not to work 60 hour weeks anymore.  I cut my caffeine consumption in half.  I accepted a part-time, low-paying summer job that compensates with awesome experience.  I signed a lease to my own apartment.  I changed my social work practice emphasis from community organizing to therapy.  I started seeing a therapist to learn how to be a better one for my clients.  And I made some new friends.  Some changes came more easily than others, but all were good and needed.

For the first time in a long time, I don’t have a plan, and it feels great.  Of course, I have a direction and vision, but it is less distracted with “what ifs” and more open to possibilities.  This is what my summer is for, I think.  Slowing down, resting, and rejuvenating my soul, so I can bring my full self to my work and relationships.  But, mostly, I am vulnerable, taking a step back to allow for room to change and pondering intentionally about ideas and directions stirring inside.  I am trying to wonder more.

So far, it is working.  I am sleeping better and eating more produce.  It is nice.  Also, I love the plentiful lemonade, which is sort of essential to summer.  May this summer be as pleasant for you as it is for me.  Cheers.

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About ashcmorris

World traveler. Red wine drinker. Indie and pop music listener. Reader. Experience-Craver. Redemption seeker. Slow-riser. Late-night writer. Cupcake baker. Social worker. Blue pen disliker. *Yep, it's that simple with me.

2 responses »

  1. can’t wait to see and catch up with you next Friday! (if not before!). This week has been so crazy-I’m sure it has been for you too with all of YOUR moving. =)

    Reply
  2. I like that you said A-ness. When you say it out loud it sounds like anus. : ) But seriously, I am excited to see you on Friday so I don’t have to read your blog to know what is happening in your life.

    Reply

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